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Beginning in 1983, my experience as a trial lawyer, working with a vast cross section of the public, in domestic, employment, corporate, criminal and personal injury cases, has armed me with a depth of understanding about conflict.
I have unconditional confidence in the natural ability of people to come to the same place without losing themselves.
Through effective mediation and coaching, clients go from bullying, passive aggressive criticism and co-dependent dynamics to firm yet gentle requests, compassion and understanding.
Becoming aware of our own dynamic, empowers us to create positive new beginnings based on what we truly want, no longer reacting from habitual patterns.
It starts with inspiration rather than fear; fear-based agreements never comport with reality.
The safety and confidentiality of the container makes it possible for people to have a real conversation, maybe for the first time, and feel brave enough to be genuine.
Once we are able to be genuine, agreements happen quickly.
While the uncertainty of relationship conflict can be challenging, our response to it doesn’t have to be costly.
In fact adversarial processes can and often do escalate the conflict by unnecessarily placing parties against each other in an expensive, accusatorial, and highly stressful struggle to win.
In most situations, people are much better served financially, emotionally, personally and socially by a non-adversarial approach. Mediation is the optimal approach to mending relationships strained by a lack of communication and understanding.
MEDIATION:
Mediation is a facilitated conversation between disputing parties. Within a safe and supportive environment, bound by confidentiality people are invited to speak genuinely and be heard and understood without judgment. This process provides the critical foundation needed to clear up misunderstandings and dissolve any sense of mistrust and alienation that can exist when people are polarized.
Mediation is a process that puts the parties in the position of the primary players, in charge of every aspect of their agreement-rather than lawyers. With the assistance of a compassionate and skilled mediator, both parties are empowered to speak genuinely about what is important to them both in individual coaching sessions and in conversations where both parties are present.
The process enables anger, fear, betrayal and disappointment to be metabolized, transforming the conflict into mutual understanding and closure.
Going through this experience is critical to reaching a meaningful and lasting resolution.
Everything that happens in mediation arises against our social backdrop of defaulting to litigation as the traditional tool for resolving conflict. Litigation often brings hollow victories, as many human needs are not addressed. Instead, feelings and concerns are filtered through a narrow legal relevancy screen, or suppressed entirely.
A mediator is a neutral and impartial person. Neutrality means that one does not have an interest or stake in the outcome. Impartiality means that one does not take sides. Both are essential to the process, and for retaining the confidence of both parties. The mediator is skilled at helping people come together in agreement. The mediator also writes up the agreement that is memorialized in documents that are presented to the court.
Mediation is a process that puts the parties in the position of the primary players, in charge of every aspect of their agreement-rather than lawyers. With the assistance of a compassionate and skilled mediator, both parties are empowered to speak genuinely about what is important to them both in individual coaching sessions and in conversations where both parties are present. The process enables anger, fear, betrayal and disappointment to be metabolized, transforming the conflict into mutual understanding and closure. Going through this experience is critical to reaching a meaningful and lasting resolution.
Everything that happens in mediation arises against our social backdrop of defaulting to litigation as the traditional tool for resolving conflict. Litigation often brings hollow victories, as many human needs are not addressed. Instead, feelings and concerns are filtered through a narrow legal relevancy screen, or suppressed entirely.
A mediator is a neutral and impartial person. Neutrality means that one does not have an interest or stake in the outcome. Impartiality means that one does not take sides. Both are essential to the process, and for retaining the confidence of both parties. The mediator is skilled at helping people come together in agreement. The mediator also writes up the agreement that is memorialized in documents that are presented to the court.
LITIGATION (COURT MODEL):
I have developed effective mediation and coaching skills t help people ts and responsibilities.” This pits the parties against each other, unnecessarily. The spouses become litigants in a system that itself creates tension and conflict. Often, the ability to communicate, trust, and co-parent with the other spouse is destroyed by the process.